Aloha Friday Message – June 26, 2009

AFC062609

Many of you know, I believe, that Crucita and I have 4 cats: Mimi, Hercules, Frankie, and ZoΓ«. Living with cats leads to a kind of Science one can only appreciate after being allowed to live with a cat for an extended period. This Science is called Cat Physics. Here are some examples:

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction
A cat must stretch out on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state when a cat is present.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for her to do something.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, they use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Letting the cat out of the bag is nowhere near as traumatic as trying to put the cat in the bag β€” unless of course the cat gets in of it’s own volition. Then it will try very hard to stay there. The entropy of an isolated cat not in equilibrium will tend to increase over time, approaching a maximum value at equilibrium. (See
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy)

Law of probability
Cats are super good at doing what is least expected of them in any way, shape, or form especially if it has anything to do with jumping or going around corners.

There will be a quiz on this on Monday.

MIMI HAS SPOKEN!!

I suggest you spend this weekend studying!

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
Whatever, whenever, wherever, whoever, however, if ever, forever β€” at your service.

chick

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About Chick Todd

American Roman Catholic reared as a "Baptiterian" in Denver Colorado.

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