Aloha Friday Message – March 14, 2008 Part 2


Happy Aloha Friday, Part 2: Yep, that’s what happened next (recall last weeks picture) Here is a continuation about Chemistry and marriage. We left off last week after discussing compounds.

Some unions are composites where each retain part of their identities. Oh, I am not saying that when we enter a valid marriage we become unrecognizable as individuals. I am saying that the individuals we were and are become changed by the union. In a composite marriage, that change is incomplete. Love can still be deep and strong, commitment can be life-long, but the degree of interdependence and interrelatedness is a little less.

Some unions are like mixtures: or even amalgams. A mixture is composition of two or more substances that are not chemically combined with each other and are capable of being separated. Blend and amalgam imply that the original components have lost their distinctness, but have not formed a compound. These, too, can be lasting, deep, and strong, but the union is incomplete.

Some of us fit into one of these categories of unions and some of us to not. There are, for example, unions that are made through religious vows (and our marriage is one of those) but they are not marriages. I think now of Ordained and Religious. There are unions that are between humans and the Divine. Some prefer celibacy ever outside religious commitments. Some have formed unions that lasted for years but did not fit these descriptions. Some have many transitory relationships. Some have valid marriages that end up being pure torture for both participants. We all know persons who live in these various unions.

For Crucita and me, it is definitely a compound. As I said, it is easy to see that we are very different for one another. But when we committed to being married, we made three crucial decisions: [1] This would be (and is) a Christ-centered marriage because [2] it is essential to be committed to something or someone outside yourself and larger than yourself, and [3] the vows we made were vows, not an arrangement for cohabitation. We made a covenant with God and each other. We became a compound. We submitted to the consequences of the chemistry between us. We are irrevocably joined, and truly happy about that!

Whatever “chemistry” you have or have had, cherish the ways it has changed you. And if you have an opportunity to expand any of your roles, do so in a covenant way. Progeny, sibling, spouse, and parent: All can be enriched by a covenant union, by forming a compound with another.
I will send you news of our trip when I return. Next Friday is Good Friday, and Crucita and I will be enjoying being in New York City (looking for that famous Picante Sauce!) We love you all!

Chick “See you in the moon!”

Whatever, whenever, wherever, whoever, however, if ever, forever — at your service, Beloved

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About Chick Todd

American Roman Catholic reared as a "Baptiterian" in Denver Colorado.

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